Bring Back Joy and Happiness to Your Life
You can regain and create the good life you want.

Therapy for Individuals and Couples Online and throughout New Jersey

Call Me Today

Everyone sees you as a success.

But you feel like you’re failing.

The pressure to get it right at work, with your family, and in relationships grows day by day.

You can’t do it alone, but you also can’t ask for help.

“I’ve tried everything.”

Self-help books, meditation apps, following the latest self-care trends on Instagram or Facebook…

But with every passing day, it feels like you’re stuck in quicksand. The more you struggle, the deeper you get.

Doing nothing is not an option.

Joan* couldn’t escape her fear of failure.

A short, slightly chubby, good-looking woman, Joan grew up in the shadow of her older sister and was always determined to get ahead.

She did. Always working hard and despite learning disabilities worked her way up the corporate ladder. At age 30, she is on track to have a “C” suite office before her 35th birthday.

She has survived a few bosses from hell. One worked her day and night while throwing hints that he couldn’t really expect a woman to get everything done. Another boss was extremely friendly until she realized that Joan was more talented than her. She turned into an unimaginably abusive boss. Joan had to leave her job to save her sanity.

Then Joan landed a position in a large old franchise that was restructuring and looking for new, young blood. Director of Marketing. All the signs are that she is valued and succeeding.

She is not convinced. It just does not feel like success.

She does presentations. She expects her boss’s criticism with every deck she prepares, even though he praises her each time. The anxiety is taking over her life. Last weekend was her nephew’s birthday party, and she was miserable thinking about finishing her work. Checking her emails Sunday evening took her from her husband, and then she was up at 4:30 AM to make sure that her boss had something before the day started.

“If this goes on, I will work myself to death,” she thinks. “My family is beginning to grow distant. Nobody, not even my supportive husband, understands me.”

Sometimes, other thoughts go through her mind. “If I fail, the entire family will fall apart. We will have to sell the house, and we can’t pay for the kids’ school. We will be destitute if I have to look for a new position.”

Ever since he was 16 years old, nothing could stop Jack*.

His dream was to be a great lawyer. Jack knew that you need “what it takes” to succeed in the legal profession. He lived with the motto, “If it is difficult, it can take a long time. If it is impossible, it might take a little bit longer.”

He excelled in law school and befriended a professor who helped him land a job in a prestigious firm. Working 70-80 hours a week was grueling. But he knew that with his grit, he would make it.

He has a house in a good community, a wife who is a gem, and three kids. But he still needs to perform. Not quite a partner, he feels that if he makes one mistake or does not have enough billable hours, or loses a case, everything will go up in flames.

Worse, his wife is losing her patience. She has told him that she wants a husband. He doesn’t really know his kids. When was the last time he went to his daughter’s soccer game? Went to a PTA meeting? Two hours over the grill on July 4th, it still feels like his life is burning at both ends. He looks at those hotdogs and thinks of them as a metaphor for his own life.

Poor Jack.

He complains of loss of pleasure and gets increasingly angry. “But if I go to a shrink, it will ruin my career.”

Rob* and Susan* are a couple in love and married for five years.

Rob is the emotional one and has been yearning for a baby for a few years. He has told Susan a few times, but she was not sure. She travels a lot for work negotiating contracts for her company, and she has her career path in her mind.

Susan is organized and works great when there is a good plan. Rob, the spontaneous one, is a software engineer. He was getting frustrated and even worse when they learned that they would need IVF treatment. When that news came, Susan could not jump into that process without knowing how she would deal with that potentially painful process.

And a painful process it was – three attempts and months of pain and daily early morning doctor visits. Every time there was a setback, Susan became more frightened and anxious because she “knew” that she was in for more suffering.

Rob was optimistic. He tried to give her words of encouragement, and they always backfired. That made Susan even more anxious and irritable. Rob was getting resentful because all he wanted to do was make things easier, and it felt like he was making Susan suffer more.

Restoration, healing, and connection take work…

But it is so worth it!

Joan and I worked together for less than six months. During our time together, I helped her restore her confidence. Honestly, I don’t know if she has made it to the “C” suite yet. But nothing is stopping her now.

In a short time, working on therapy, Jack learned to separate work from life. To truly enjoy his time away from work and the challenges that work provides him (and used to provide him). It was a lot of hard work to learn how, but Jack certainly was not going to shy away from the hard work of saving his life and family!

The doctor said that Susan needs to work on her anxiety. Yeah, right… When Rob changed his emotional pattern and learned effective communication skills, Susan saw that she actually had the 100% that she needed and that Rob always was. And, by the way, it was the 4th implantation that carried to a healthy baby boy. And Rob and Susan have better communication, closeness, and intimacy than they ever had before.

Like Joan, Jack, Rob, and Susan, I can help you get back on track – with efficiency and confidentiality.

Schedule a Call Today

Let’s Talk

They call me Doc Ari (not Daiquiri).

Some call me Dr. Hahn. Or Just Ari.

It is all good. Whatever you call me, I will answer. And always as soon as I can.

I have been working in psychology since 1975 and as a therapist since 1987. When I started on this road, I was taught that therapy has to take many years, and more often than once a week did not give a person enough time to process a session. I never really bought into that hogwash. “What a waste of time and money,” I thought. There must be a better way.

I learned all the “best” methods of short-term therapy, but nothing gave me the type of relief that my clients were searching for. After 30 years, I found a framework to integrate all the best practices. That is TEAM-CBT, the brainchild of David Burns, MD. And it actually works.

My goal is, and has always been, to provide efficient, effective, relatively rapid therapy for the stuff that makes us feel bad. To help my client rid themselves of anxiety, depression, and relationship problems.

It has been a struggle because no doctor can fix emotions or attitudes. YOU can. I have learned how it is done and how to guide you in learning to change your thoughts and emotional reactions to live a life of joy.

It has been a struggle because we need to work intensely to help people in this most difficult of life struggles. The more you work, the more you engage in the work, the quicker you can reach your goals. That can mean anything from a two-hour session once a week to four three-hour sessions in one week! (Yes, that is crazy hard work, but sometimes that is where the magic is!)

I do not give up. If you are dedicated, I will be even more dedicated. I will not remain stuck if that happens. I consult with other master therapists constantly because every person I work with is unique, and the craft of therapy is a skill that can be improved daily. Like a virtuoso pianist, a world-class athlete, a master negotiator, to be really good, you never stop improving.

If you want to improve and if you want to rid yourself of anxiety, depression, or relationship problems and live a life of joy, call me.